grief

In Chinese medicine they say that the lungs hold and express grief and the anger flows out of the liver. All, I have to say is that this explains a lot.
Ups and downs.
Working a ton. Our regions got changed. Added Lakeland in Elkhorn, an hours drive and St. Luke's and Vince St. Luke's. Got second job last October working weekends at a walk-in clinic off of Good Hope Rd.
Started school at Midwest College of Oriental Medicine for Masters of Science in Oriental Medicine in April, going part-time.
Ran a 15k and a 20k so far this year and am currently training for another half at Lapham Peak. Trail run, very hard!!
Stopped drinking ETOH May 1st. 2013. Haven't had a since craving or relapse since. God is faithful and He is good. Just have to go to the place of refuge and ask for the help. I'm done for good.
Kids are growing up so fast. Helen is taking swim lessons right now and reading like crazy. Her violin playing is coming along nicely and we are starting to have more fun together practicing than fighting and yelling like we used to. Gryphin is a little monster, he was throwing himself out of his crib so had to move him into a twin bed on the floor. He is constant and much more aggressive and more of a handful than Helen ever was. He has never slept as well either.
Donnie doing well in school and bartending at BWW.

This season is always so hard and I always forget how it hurts and how I struggle with sleeping and this feeling of melancholy. I am writing this down now so that I remember. Got hit with a wicked summer cold and get crazy, crabby angry. I am so tired.

I cannot wait to see what life hold over the next five or ten years. I can not believe that Renner would be five. It is such a big number. He should be starting kindergarten this year. I am trying not to look back and what I do not have but it is very hard. I am reading Angie Smith's book MENDED. Of course, it is wonderful and so speaks to the very core of my struggles. My heart is heavy. It is hard to breath.